The swampland of the Soul

"Vulnerability is not weakness and that myth is profoundly dangerous.  Vulnerability is courageous."  - Brene Brown

As a psychotherapist, I watch people avoid feeling shame and being vulnerable through every imaginable defensive process every single day.   Yet, every once in awhile someone approaches the edge of that black swampland of the soul and dips their toes in.  These are beautiful, honorable moments.  I always fall in love in those moments, soul to soul.  The courage to face our darkest shadows without delusion heals not only ourselves, but the collective as well.  Within that dank swamp of shame is the future of all our ancestors and the past of all those who came before us.  When our fear and shame prevent us from going anywhere near that swamp (or even recognizing that the swamp exists inside of us) it becomes impossible to feel for anyone else's struggles.  Vulnerability is essential for intimacy, internal and external.

Every single time we dip in, we can emerge with an experience of understanding that vulnerability, shame, self criticism, anxiety are fundamental building blocks to intimacy and that feelings of intimacy/belonging are the best protectors against abuse of the self and other.  To be supported by others requires intimacy and to be intimate requires vulnerability.  Therefore, we cannot really feel a sense of belonging and support from others without the courage to be vulnerable because this vulnerability is what incites empathy in others. It's a cycle that must start through an internal reduction of defenses against our own vulnerability. The myth of vulnerability as weakness is wrong.  The ability to be truly vulnerable in relationship and interaction is strength.  This is what helps people love one another- not perfection, not intellect, not beauty, not wealth.  Vulnerability.

union of the opposites

Last night, this beauty flew into my dreams, landed on my daughter's shoulder and told us he was hungry by attempting to peel our grapefruit with his beak.  He then waited patiently while we sliced him a piece of the juicy, pink fruit with a gigantic bread knife.  I was skeptical, sure that "owls don't like grapefruit", but he did and as he ate his feathers slowly turned snowy white and I boldly mediated a tense conversation and the child and the grandmother finally began to communicate.  Just like his feathers, everything was softened.

symbolism manifest

Our sole purpose is to express ourselves for the sake of being expressed.  We are perceptible surfaces created to represent our esoteric affinities with the primordial archetypes.

Paintings of all that makes one cry within onself by Hugo Simberg

Psyche is Image

The scorpion wraps his tail around our only nutrients. The warriers are present in body alone.  They are so very weary of protecting the past from the future. The snake slithers before the guardian of the crypt, nearing the depths.  There is a shovel there, in case it is needed for digging or for defense. 

 Now there is a steep slope upward. The pigs have struggled to climb it, as they do not have bodies made for climbing.  The gorilla is at their back, he will reach the diamond first.  The ladder takes whomever climbs it up to the cosmos. Don't you want your head in the clouds?  To block all of this with the sweet, wet taste of mist in your eyes, on your tongue?

The kitten sleeps at the top of the slide, disrupting any swift, smooth decent.  The sword is at the back of the queen's skull, saluting the sun.  Two blades, one with reaper attending, wait nearby. There are messages in the water, if we can make it there.  Mama bear waits on the other side. She watches, radiating her strength, but she cannot assist. We might not make it far enough.  We might go too far, too fast.

We have spiraled back to the totem. The path is smooth and clear, if slightly uphill. Our leader is crystalline and never forgets. He ritualistically mourns the deaths of past lovers and we join him, trusting him through and through.  Baby, we are stronger now with the mother's protection from behind.  The piglets nudge each other forward. We have invited the masses to see our beautiful center.  Come.  Our spiral is endless.  We will never leave and thus, we will never arrive. 

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The human mind is inherently creative.  We can manifest this creativity however we choose.   Activities that allow the creative mind an outlet for expression, both constructive and destructive, allow the shadow to slowly seep into consciousness.  Until we allow the shadow to begin to reveal itself to us through active participation in creative activities, it has no means to let either its presence or purpose be known.   Without expressive capacity, it erupts and demands our attention, like a toddler denied the out-of-reach candy he so lustfully desires.  

But, in order to allow genuine expression of the shadow through creative outlet, we must acknowledge that we do not truly know ourselves.  We must let go of ourselves as we think we are and as we desire to be.  We must throw our masks into the fire and wait for the smoke to clear, revealing our true faces.  It is impossible to truly know oneself due to the dynamic, ever changing nature of being.   We cannot be psychically mature without awareness that parts of us will always be in the dark,  parts that we cannot see and do not realize exist.  The unknown is not separate from the known.   The mind has an evolutionary history.  Creativity is the archaeologic tool that digs us into the depths and reveals the content and structure of our own collective unconscious.  Within the collective unconscious is where our legacy and our individuality reside.  Creation, in all forms, leads us to our truest Self.