Just some music worth listening to:
Just fight through the pain.
I still dream.
down to the dregs of the world.
10 July 2011
The scorpion wraps his tail around our only nutrients. The warriers are present in body alone. They are so very weary of protecting the past from the future. The snake slithers before the guardian of the crypt, nearing the depths. There is a shovel there, in case it is needed for digging or for defense.
Now there is a steep slope upward. The pigs have struggled to climb it, as they do not have bodies made for climbing. The gorilla is at their back, he will reach the diamond first. The ladder takes whomever climbs it up to the cosmos. Don't you want your head in the clouds? To block all of this with the sweet, wet taste of mist in your eyes, on your tongue?
The kitten sleeps at the top of the slide, disrupting any swift, smooth decent. The sword is at the back of the queen's skull, saluting the sun. Two blades, one with reaper attending, wait nearby. There are messages in the water, if we can make it there. Mama bear waits on the other side. She watches, radiating her strength, but she cannot assist. We might not make it far enough. We might go too far, too fast.
We have spiraled back to the totem. The path is smooth and clear, if slightly uphill. Our leader is crystalline and never forgets. He ritualistically mourns the deaths of past lovers and we join him, trusting him through and through. Baby, we are stronger now with the mother's protection from behind. The piglets nudge each other forward. We have invited the masses to see our beautiful center. Come. Our spiral is endless. We will never leave and thus, we will never arrive.
*** *** ***
The human mind is inherently creative. We can manifest this creativity however we choose. Activities that allow the creative mind an outlet for expression, both constructive and destructive, allow the shadow to slowly seep into consciousness. Until we allow the shadow to begin to reveal itself to us through active participation in creative activities, it has no means to let either its presence or purpose be known. Without expressive capacity, it erupts and demands our attention, like a toddler denied the out-of-reach candy he so lustfully desires.
But, in order to allow genuine expression of the shadow through creative outlet, we must acknowledge that we do not truly know ourselves. We must let go of ourselves as we think we are and as we desire to be. We must throw our masks into the fire and wait for the smoke to clear, revealing our true faces. It is impossible to truly know oneself due to the dynamic, ever changing nature of being. We cannot be psychically mature without awareness that parts of us will always be in the dark, parts that we cannot see and do not realize exist. The unknown is not separate from the known. The mind has an evolutionary history. Creativity is the archaeologic tool that digs us into the depths and reveals the content and structure of our own collective unconscious. Within the collective unconscious is where our legacy and our individuality reside. Creation, in all forms, leads us to our truest Self.
04 July 2011
photo by Parker Fitzgerald
Last July I received an unexpected letter in the mail. I read it. The words inside that letter woke me up from a deep slumber that I'd unconsciously allowed to wash over me. Hard facts are known to do that. That letter forced me to ask questions that I knew I had been avoiding asking. Those questions forced me to hear answers that I knew I had been avoiding hearing. Those answers forced me to take account of how far from freedom I had traveled and for what?
People who are able to truly love do not lightly put their lover's lives in jeopardy. People who are able to love value their own lives, for the sake of their lovers, if not themselves.
That letter, a record of invisible actions and impulsive decisions, changed my life forever. Forever for the better. I asked, without shame: Are you able to love? If so, are you loving the things that you want to? What in your actions allows your love to be seen? If nothing, is love really present? If not, why pretend?
The universe has a plan for me (and for you). Let it unfold. Feel it wash over you. There is beauty, light in even the darkest moment- can you see it? This is what freedom feels like. We are lucky to know that feeling.