I find many women continually look for boys or guys, not men. This pains me to no end. The definition of a real man has been skewed and buried culturally on both sides, and the loss of this has been felt and seen equally - in the identity shadows of males and in the frustration of females.
The male gender has few positive and reinforcing models to follow during development. Many of the seemingly negative male traits get rewarded with attention anyway, so how do we stop this nasty perpetual backflow? Even as I near age 30 I often hear, "This boy/guy treats me like crap for X reason..." Well of course he does - he's not a real man (yet), just a boy/guy doing what boys/guys do. Just like we don't expect a cow to shit a diamond, we should not expect a boy/guy to have the maturity and awareness necessary to treat a woman like a man would and should.
I love Kelis and her energy too, though her lyrics often speak of boys not living up to her expectations of a man. All of this is just my opinion, and as a male paraplegic I'm culturally considered an "it" and half-a-man at best anyway, though I heard a rumor once that real men do exist.
I find many women continually look for boys or guys, not men. This pains me to no end. The definition of a real man has been skewed and buried culturally on both sides, and the loss of this has been felt and seen equally - in the identity shadows of males and in the frustration of females.
ReplyDeleteThe male gender has few positive and reinforcing models to follow during development. Many of the seemingly negative male traits get rewarded with attention anyway, so how do we stop this nasty perpetual backflow? Even as I near age 30 I often hear, "This boy/guy treats me like crap for X reason..." Well of course he does - he's not a real man (yet), just a boy/guy doing what boys/guys do. Just like we don't expect a cow to shit a diamond, we should not expect a boy/guy to have the maturity and awareness necessary to treat a woman like a man would and should.
I love Kelis and her energy too, though her lyrics often speak of boys not living up to her expectations of a man. All of this is just my opinion, and as a male paraplegic I'm culturally considered an "it" and half-a-man at best anyway, though I heard a rumor once that real men do exist.
Also, I love your writings Brooke. Please continue doing this.
ReplyDelete