13 March 2011

at your heels

I'm in the belly of the canyon.
I can't come up with any reason.
Why a ghost is following me.
Why a ghost is following me.

I've got some feed for the longing.
I've got the pill for the bad dreams.
The apparition dancing with me, stepping down all over my feet.

There is no key to my gate, but you can still come around.
Lean your ladder against my window and I'll come down.
I'll come down.

x
x
x
x
x
x
You can still come around

28 February 2011

bad bitch takeover



Kelis is the baddest bitch. She's been ridin' the beat like a bicycle since long before Gaga, Rhianna, or Nikki. The world would be so much different/better if bad bitches like Kelis were in charge.  I hope we get to witness a bad bitch take back of this horribly unbalanced and confused culture in the very near future.  The Boss Bitch Revolution of 2011.  2012?  Los Angeles is the best city for a bad bitch takeover to originate in. Paris and Miami would be allies.  Not to mention Rome or Rio.  The problem is that we have to stop fighting from within, organize with the fire of Kali and the fascination of Medusa deep inside us all and get bossy.  Give 'em a taste, they'll want some more. This is difficult when so many of us still have fights within ourselves, not to mention within our relationships.



Yes, magic happens when the genders unite.  Unfortunately, that seems next level for our culture at this point. It's impossible for over 50% of our adult society to live in harmony with the opposite gender on a personal level.  If only one gender can hold the power it must be the women, the creators and nurturers of life.  Looking around, I see that so many archetypal relationships are out of whack.  We are disorganized- in thought, in attachment, in communication. The earth needs to get knocked around a little, kicked off it's axis and determine a new center that we all spin around.  I would really like for bitches like Kelis to be at that center. Diamonds on her neck, diamonds on her grill.



*NOTE: Rorscach cards framed on the wall in Caught Out video.  Shout out to Visual Understanding!

20 February 2011

I want to be with those who know secret things or else alone.

(art by the luminous spirit, Paul Laffoley)

Take your practiced powers and stretch them out
until they span the chasm between two contradictions...

For the god wants to know himself in you.
-Rainer Maria Rilk
e


Surrender yourself to death, return what was loaned to you.
Give up your pleasures, your pains. Give up your friends, your lovers. Give up your family, your past.
Surrender what you hate, what you desire. You will know nothingness.
It is the only reality.
You will no longer want to possess.
Possession is the ultimate pain.
-Jodorowsky



Transition is all around us. All that you count on will change. It is an amazing blessing to watch the lotus unfurl and amazingly painful to watch the petals decay back into the mud. These concepts are not so hard to grasp, yet it still feels like a shot to the heart when we lose things we thought we would always have and gain things we didn't even know we were missing. We are unfortunate to live in a culture that buries so many fundamental elements of reality- anger, death, evil, intimacy, altruism. Here in modern America, we are not allowed to see these things, instead they must be hidden under our masks and we are trained to be terrified when they ooze out into the light.

Something must die, if anything is to live. Every decision involves excluding the non-chosen options. I believe that energy and matter are finite, cycling back into themselves at all times. When we let go we aren't really letting go, per se, but more likely performing some energetic alchemy, some psychomagic. Transformation is undoubtedly a healthier, more connected process than banishment, repetition or repression.



We all resonate in each moment with a specific vibration that is only attractive to some. Sometimes our vibrations are out of tune and the result is that we don't resonate with any other energies or beings that actually compliment us. Defeated, some of us recognize our mistakes, take the time to clue into our true selves and try again with a clearer heart. Others among us have never been in tune, born with the karmic debt of learning to expect dissonance in relationship with others instead of harmony. These people walk the gray line between blessing and curse and may feel destined to be either alone or surrounded with people that block them from cultivating the very areas of their soul that need to be watered most. The possibility for each path lies within each one of us. In the eyes of God, we are all equal.

12 February 2011

The Squaring of the Circle






mandalas by the amazing Emma Kunz

05 February 2011

PseudoInnocence




"Self-deception remains the most difficult deception. The tricks that work on others count for nothing in that well-lit back alley where one keeps assignations with oneself. If we do not respect ourselves, we are forced to despise those who have so few resources as to consort with us, so little perception as to remain blind to our fatal weaknesses. We are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see, curiously determined to live out – since our self-image is untenable – their false notion of us. We flatter ourselves by thinking this compulsion to please others an attractive trait: a gist for imaginative empathy, evidence of our willingness to give. At the mercy of those we cannot but hold in contempt, we play roles doomed to failure before they are begun."
-Joan Didion



"The daimon throws us down, makes us traitors to our ideals and cherished convictions- traitors to the selves we thought we were."
-C.G. Jung

Evil does exist in the world.
Some people consciously choose to participate in thoughts, words and actions that are meant to damage others (and ultimately damage themselves, too). I have previously believed that we are all doing the best we can, that any manifestation of evil was purely consequential of our mortal collective efforts on the path of enlightenment. This is not true. The devil exists and he is here on earth, among us all.

Yes, we all have a choice. We can walk a path of pseudo-innocence, running from the reality of our dual human natures, or we can walk a path where our shadows are accepted and honored as the dark forces of destruction that seeth inside of us. When we stand in the brightest light, our shadows are the darkest they have ever been. Without destruction, there is no creation. The way in which we interact with our own dark energy impacts the energetic outcome of all the shadow we face in this dangerous world of modern human interaction.

The path to self-respect is a long and confusing one that takes an extraordinary amount of individual inner work to achieve in modern society. We have a choice to walk that difficult path or not, a choice to add merit to the universe or to take it away.
After our deaths, the memories of our actions in the minds of others is our only legacy.
What do you want your legacy to consist of?

29 January 2011

Twin flames


Everyone knows about soul mates, but do you know about twin flames?



I, like Einstein and Shakyamuni Buddha, believe that there is one, collective energy/matter to which we all belong. All one. We inter-are. When we are conceived into this lifetime a bit of that energy breaks off to eventually become each and every one of our unique manifestations. This is perceived as our 'self', the 'I' with whom we identify, until it comes time to die, pass into the next manifestation and reconnect/redistribute our 'selves' among the collective energy matter that makes up all that is and all that isn't.

Some theoretical positions, such as astrology, numerology, indigo and crystal belief systems, propose that the breaking off of energy matter is more systematic than random. This results in similar traits and connections among those who are pulled from the collective together. Most people understand this on the level of the zodiac, i.e. Taurus are stubborn and love tangible luxury; Virgos are detail oriented and rigid. The ancient Tibetans had a belief that everyone one crosses paths with in a lifetime was their mother in another lifetime. This is yet another way of conceptualizing group manifestations of energy and matter. The theory of soul mates is another theory that encapsulates this belief, but is often commonly misunderstood.

Many people think that a 'soul mate' is equivalent to the love of one's life, when actually soul mates may be better considered as souls who's energy was broken off from the same piece of the collective at the same time as one's own, resulting in a separate manifestation at the same time and often in the same place as one's own, lifetime after lifetime. Soul mates come into our lives to teach us about all of the possibilities that human interaction and connection can entail. You know when you have had an interaction with a soul mate because you have a sense of knowing that person before, even when you first meet them, and you may feel inexplicably attracted to the soul mate, like you just have to go with the flow of energy between the 2 of you. Often soul mates end up wrestling with each other on an energetic level and they frequently do NOT end up as life long partners. But you will be sure to have grown and developed awareness because of an interaction with a soul mate, positive or negative. We all have multiple soul mates and usually interact with at least a few during each lifetime as a way to work out our karma and head toward our twin flame in preparation for re-union. But do not despair! Despite the deep experience of loss and transformation that soul mates can bring into your human conscious experience it is work that we all must do. You must feel whole in yourself, before your twin flame will emerge. Soul mates and our experiences with them allow us the opportunity to see what is stopping us from being whole in ourselves.

As you might be able to intuit based on the words I chose to describe our emergence from the collective energetic pot, we all have to give something up in order to get to where we are. We must be split from the collective in order to be manifest as the individual. Every exit is an entrance to new experiences. One big way that we individuate is through gender. For me to be a woman in this lifetime, I had to split from my collective male energy. One of my soul mates will have split from his female energy to become a male in this lifetime*. This person is my twin flame. Our energies will eventually merge together just prior to transcendence beyond the human realm, which will result in a full reunion into the collective and generally symbolizes the end of manifestation in the human realm. Unlike soul mates, twin flames often collide only in the final lifetime as humans and they may not feel as familiar as soul mates. Twin flames will experience a mutual sense of eternal and transcendent love. They typically recognize one another following at least one 'dark night' in which they have faced and resolved their deepest traumas and karmic debts. This darkness is necessary, as being present with your twin flame requires clearance of all obstacles to true union.

Sometimes, twin flames cross paths and the time is not right. One may be engaged in a relationship with a soul mate. One might not be ready to tolerate the intense mirroring that being present with a twin flame entails. Additionally, being in relationship with one's twin flame is a gateway to direct relationship with the divine energy that is mother to us all. Sometimes we think we are ready for that and connect with our twin flame only to realize that we still have spiritual blockages to resolve. It is not uncommon for twin flames to temporarily separate in the physical realm until the remaining individual blockages are cleared. Even in this separation, twin flames will feel a strong psychic connection that seems magical and does not fade with time. This cycle usually occurs within one lifetime. For once twin flames find each other, they generally find a way to unite before passing, as their next passing is destined to be into a realm beyond the human. The energetic charge between twin flames is loving, not obsessional or needy. This is a profound and inexplicable connection that brings joy and non-dependent comfort, regardless of physical presence or not. The interactions between twin flames are blatantly honest and may be painful, but not composed of trickery or game playing. Your twin flame will not cheat you, lie to you or otherwise deceive you, though they may hurt you through soul baring honesty and penetration into your deepest recesses where no one else has been allowed. If this happens, it is simply a means to clear any residual inner conflict that must be cleared within the individual before true union is possible. Despite the challenges, the overall feeling of twin flame union is peaceful and comforting, wholeness.

Twin flames together will travel through fire and emerge with a union that transcends logic, ego, time and space. You'll both know it when it emerges. You'll know it ten years later when it has ceased to subside. The whole is always greater then the sum of the parts and when we commune with our twin flame we can truly forge our path to divine, collective consciousness.



*NOTE: Our energetic gender does not always match our biological gender. This theory is about union of opposites in the most etheric sense and in no way indicates that same sex or transgendered couples have not found their twin flames with a person of the same gender. The universe works in mysterious ways and the feelings we get in interaction with others are ultimately much more valuable than something as temporary and superficial as biological gender assignment.

06 January 2011



That sucked.

22 December 2010

Hypnosis



To get to where you want to go you have to know what it is that you want. You also have to have a realistic and simple plan and belief in your own talents and abilities to achieve your desires. If you're filled with doubt and indecision or if you live your life without a goal, then you're at the mercy of circumstances. However, circumstances don't offer much mercy, direction or help toward the fulfillment of desires or planning and achieving your life on purpose.

Decide what you want, believe in yourself, put the necessary effort into your plans and follow them through persistently. This is the simple formula for success and attainment. When you control your thoughts, you control your emotions. Your emotions are forces of unimaginable power.

-Dr. Rick Collingwood

16 December 2010

Branch, Ape and Twig



I had a dream that I had 3 daughters, named Branch, Ape and Twig. Branch was the oldest daughter and I thought her name was so beautiful and strong. I was proud of her. Twig was a baby and I didn't like her name as much, but seem to have felt that there were no other names available. It was as though all the names in the world had run out and I was forced to choose Twig. Strangely, I didn't seem to have an opinion either way on the middle child, Ape.

A few moments later I was standing in a grassy yard. There was a rectangular swimming pool filled with stuffed animals. The stuffed animals were overflowing at one end of the pool, as though to mimic a wave crashing on the beach. I thought it was peculiar that the pool was filled with toys and I thought to myself, "I am having lots of thoughts about childish things". I wasn't sure it was meant to be, but I felt that the pool made for an interesting and strangely beautiful piece of conceptual art. I filed the idea away in my memory, in case there came a time that I might need an idea for a piece of interesting and strange conceptual art.

Then there was a lady in front of me, or perhaps I was the lady and there was a small audience in front of me. It may have been only me in the audience. I am unsure. Maybe both. To one side, there was a series of 3 doors. They were miniature, child-sized and made of a rich, dark, heavy wood. To the other side, there was one other doorway. I cannot remember exactly what it looked like, but my memory says that it was more modern, plasticky and it might have been open, or with no actual door at all. This doorway was arched, whereas the series of 3 were standard rectangles. It was larger than the other 3 and it was white/bright. The woman (or myself?) was saying:

"You can choose the three or the one, but if you choose the one, you cannot choose the three".

She pointed to the doors as she spoke. I had a feeling that I wanted to choose the 3, but that I was expected to choose the 1. I contemplated the solidity of the 3 and thought, "why would I choose one, when I could choose three? " Surely there was three times as much exploration, option and space with the set of 3 doors than there would be with only one. But I knew everyone (who exactly 'everyone' is, I'm unsure) wanted me to choose the one. I felt pressured to choose against what I really wanted.

I don't remember making a choice before I awoke. If I did, I know it was the three.

09 December 2010

children of the sun, begin to wake


What direction is human evolution moving in?
I've been speaking to others about becoming strong lately. Everyone wants to be strong. Yet culturally we are moving away from our bodies and toward our networks. Two people drew me pictures about becoming strong this week. One was a lion tearing apart and eating a human body. He lay on his belly and chomped on a bloodless leg while various body parts were strewn around him. The second was a robot shooting another robot with a gun. The robot shooting the gun was a female robot, with breasts.


It is difficult work to become strong. It hurts to do strong things like make conscious decisions, wait, and take responsibility for our tiny lives. Are you attending to the things that will help you be strong? Not just as an individual, but as a member of a culture that needs all the conscious strength it can get.